Why do people do what they do? In his popular TED Talk, “The Puzzle of Motivation,” the author Daniel Pink talks about how he spent years studying the science of human motivation. One thing, he says, became impossible to ignore:

“I’m telling you, it’s not even close. If you look at the science, there is a mismatch between what science knows and what business does.”

The science he’s referring to is mainly a forty-year-old psychological framework called Self-Determination Theory (SDT). The theory explains the core needs that drive motivation and psychological wellbeing.

The three core needs: autonomy, competence, relatedness

To feel motivated and engaged at work, your work must meet three needs:

1. Autonomy: You have control over your time and what you do. Or, more bluntly, you don’t feel like a prisoner to someone else’s timetable and rules. There’s a reason micromanagers are universally despised. This applies to your life outside work too. Feeling in control, and free to do as you please, is priceless.
2. Competence: You are good at what you do. You can continue to develop and refine your skills over a lifetime.
3. Relatedness: You feel connected to the people you work with. You like and respect each other. One study found that trusting your boss (and management) increases life satisfaction comparable to a 30% pay rise.

Notice there’s no mention of a calling or following a passion. When it comes to your career, pre-existing passion is nowhere to be found in the framework because passion (or just enthusiasm or engagement) follows from competence more often than the other way around.

The “follow your passion” trap

The psychologist Carol Dweck and colleagues at Stanford found that people who follow mantras like “follow your passion” are far more likely to call it quits too quickly on promising pursuits when they run into inevitable obstacles. 

This isn’t because they have high standards for themselves; it’s because they think that their jobs should be a fountain of endless joy and adventure and excitement. Any hardship or tedium means they’re not on the right path.

That’s a recipe for job hopping and an unhappy work life.

In most cases, passion and purpose emerge after years of experience, hard work, and skill building. It’s just not true that you need a preordained passion or a single, destined calling.

If you have passion for something, great – give it your all. If you don’t, there are several pursuits and careers you could be equally happy doing.

The passion of Jobs

In 2005, Steve Jobs delivered his now famous (and brilliant) commencement speech at Stanford. To quote one of the most cited parts:

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.

Jobs got it right: passion develops through curiosity, persistence, and engagement. Jobs said “find”, not “follow”, a distinction that sometimes gets lost when people talk about passion. This might seem like a trivial detail but so much hinges on it. The timescale matters.

Jobs found his passion. He didn’t follow any pre-existing passion. Before founding Apple, he wasn’t driven by any deep love of technology or business. He studied calligraphy and history at Reed College, dabbled in Eastern mysticism, dropped out, and split his time between spiritual communes and odd jobs. He took a position at Atari mainly because the ad promised “Have fun and make money.”

Less than a year before starting Apple, Jobs was still drifting around, travelling to India, meditating, and following his curiosity. Apple began as a small side project with Steve Wozniak to sell computer kits for extra cash. 

Apple’s success grew from that modest experiment, not from some fated passion for electronics. The passion came later – as he built something meaningful, mastered his craft, and gained creative freedom.

Passion isn’t the starting point, it’s the reward for doing valuable, challenging work over time.

Fit matters

It goes without saying, this doesn’t mean you should struggle in a terrible, soul-sucking job. Alignment is everything. Countless jobs would be a bad fit for you, either because they’re not suited to your temperament or they don’t let you meet the fundamental needs of competence, relatedness, and autonomy. The only “passion” that will come from those jobs is passionate hatred.

If you’re highly extroverted, for example, a computer programming role requiring long, solitary hours may not suit you, just as very introverted person might not be suited to a constantly social, high-pressure sales job. This is where experimentation comes in.

Small experiments towards a happier life

“Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It’s never too late. But do it now. Have a great day.” – Ricky Gervais

Rather than getting lost in the details (paralysis by analysis) or in introspection that might lead you astray, go out and try small, low-risk experiments with an open mind. If you’re curious about a creative field, take an evening class or collaborate on a side project. Want to paint? Write? Meditate? Do it daily for 30 days, with no expectations. Even something as simple as rearranging your workday – tackling hard tasks when your energy is highest – can reveal a lot about what motivates you. 

Nothing matches the knowledge gained from experience. You might be surprised by the kinds of tasks you enjoy and are good at – and how wrong some of your assumptions turn out to be. As the science-fiction author Isaac Asimov wrote, “Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” 

Keeping a brief diary (though it’s entirely optional) will help you notice patterns in your experiments – what energises you, what drains you, and what roles give you the autonomy, competence, and relatedness you need to enjoy your work. Over time, this “data” lets you tilt your life in a direction that gives you more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

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In the next post, I’ll talk about some of the simple actions – and fuel for your experiments – you can take that are proven to bring lasting happiness.