“May you live every day of your life” – Jonathan Swift

Psychologists used to think that people’s happiness remained mostly stable over time, that we naturally adapt to our circumstances and there’s little we can do to nudge our setpoint of happiness up. The famous factoid was that lottery winners aren’t any happier over time than they were before winning the lottery. Some people are gloomy by disposition, some are annoyingly chirpy, and most of us are somewhere in the middle.

It turns out that common sense wins this one: winning the lottery does make you happier. And some pursuits can lift even the gloomiest of us to a higher baseline of happiness.

The spoiler up front: Chasing happiness is a bit like chasing a cat – the harder you run after it, the faster it darts away.

A 2,500-year search for happiness

Philosophers have been trying to figure out happiness for centuries, going all the way back to Aristotle 2,500 years ago. In the past couple decades, entire PhD programs and academic fields have sprung up to unravel the ingredients of a good life.

Corporations have built multi-billion-dollar wellness industries around happiness data. Governments are even using happiness research to guide public policy. And people are turning to a booming (and sometimes dubious) industry of self-help books, mindfulness apps, and life coaching in search of a happier life.

A straightforward topic with easy answers, then. This should be simple to write.

It goes without saying, none of us have all the answers on this. But there are some hints about how to increase our happiness and life satisfaction. A little psychology and a few lifestyle changes go a long way.

Happiness under the hood

People’s discussions of happiness are often muddled because they don’t distinguish between moment-by-moment positive emotions (like joy and delight) and overall life satisfaction (a more thoughtful evaluation of their whole life relating more to purpose, peace, and contentment).

Rather than getting tangled in semantic weeds, we can define happiness as an overlapping mixture of the two: feeling good in the moment and being satisfied with your life overall.

One type of happiness can be nudged up with little effect on the other. Someone who chases short-term hedonism feels short-term pleasure but doesn’t develop much life satisfaction. Someone who raises children has more life satisfaction but has temporarily lower moment-to-moment emotional happiness (especially in the early years of parenthood.)

Happiness doesn’t come from a single approach. It’s a byproduct of many things: close friendships, good health, regular exercise, meaningful goals, a sense of control over your life, freedom from chronic stress, living in the present, enough money to cover your needs and a few luxuries, and being at peace with who you are.

The problem with positive thinking

A realistic understanding of happiness can help you experience much more of it.

We’re not designed to be constantly elated, like a euphoric golden retriever, because we need some realistic pessimism to navigate a complicated world where bad things can happen, and a level of weary vigilance (as any parent of a young child knows). Forced cheer is not a recipe for a happy or meaningful life. Without some negative emotions, our ancestors wouldn’t have survived.

So not all negative emotions are pathological. For example, we need anxiety to anticipate and avoid real threats. Some anxiety (a low-to-moderate amount) helps us in multiple areas, like taking exams, performing in sport, giving presentations, and meeting deadlines in work.

With negative emotions, the poison is in the dose. People who suffer from debilitating anxiety or depression are not “mentally weak” or any nonsense like that. They can’t help it and they need extra support. “Good vibes only” and similar “just think positive” ideas peddled by various internet gurus are simplifications that gloss over the complexity of reality.

Now, with that background out of the way, we can move onto what we can do to increase our happiness. It starts in the brain.

The exercise-happiness connection

Many people still think of mental and physical wellbeing as separate. The separation between mental and physical wellbeing has deep roots in Western thought, going all the way back to René Descartes in the 17th century. Descartes argued that the mind and body are distinct substances, that the mind is immaterial and the body is physical. This separation (or “dualism”) shaped centuries of medicine and psychology, and it’s still a common intuition.

The scientific and holistic view, however, now sees mental and physical wellbeing as inseparable. What affects the body profoundly shapes the mind and vice versa. For example, chronic stress affects the immune system, and exercise improves mood.

Physical exercise is an essential part of a happy life. This is not even remotely up for debate, unlike dozens of questionable ideas in the “self-help” and “positive psychology” spaces.

In fact, following the fundamentals of health and fitness – getting restorative sleep, regular exercise, and good nutrition – will get you further along the way to happiness than trying to think your way into a more positive state of mind.

Steps in the right direction

Regular exercise makes your thoughts clearer, your mood better, your energy higher. You don’t have to slave away in the gym for hours. You can start by simply walking more.

Exercise might also help you live longer and hold onto your cognitive abilities as you age. As the longevity researcher Dr Peter Attia writes in his book Outlive:

“Exercise is by far the most potent longevity ‘drug’. The data are unambiguous: Exercise not only delays actual death but also prevents both cognitive and physical decline better than any other intervention. It is the single most potent tool we have in the health-span-enhancing toolkit — and that includes nutrition, sleep, and meds.”

Health and fitness gets you on the right track. What can you build upon this to reliably create lasting happiness and life satisfaction?

Let’s turn to one of the strongest predictors of a happy life: friendship. You might be surprised at what the data shows. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has tracked people for over 80 years, found that close relationships are the single best predictor of long-term wellbeing. You can read more about it here.